Thursday, March 15, 2012
Snatched by the Snatchasaurusrex!
No it's not CrossFit, it's not diet, it's not even lack of sleep.....the Snatchasaurusrex is in town and he's out on a snatch catching frenzy! That's the only thing I can think of. Any other excuse would just be insane and childish. To make believe and imagine something so crazy as just being in a snatch slump would be so far fetched that I'm sure my nose would start to grow. It is definitely the Snatchasaurusrex, I saw him with my own two eyes! He's silver with hard, cold, almost knurling like scales with colorful wings on each side! The more colors he posses the stronger his powers! He comes into your gym and rips hips apart, tearing into your mind and crawling into your head making a nest to live in while he whispers in your ear. He adds invisible weight to your bar when you're not looking and insists on making warm up weights feel unbearable! He breathes a chalk like smoke that billows across the room infecting other teammates close by. Snatchasaurusrex growls a crash bang failed attempt gosh dang it son of a monkey mothers yell! Words that don't make sense unless he's around. He pulls your bar out front and sets fire to your heals so you're forced to only go to your toes! He flies out of your head only to circle the room and knock you back on your ass.
I'm done! I'm tired of this Snatchasaurusrex hanging out at CalStrength, more specifically my platform, my head, my body! Time to battle! Strap up your Pendlays with me, grab your Nexgen spear, let's hunt this beast! Do not sleep, do not eat, do not be satisfied till we have his head on a Werk San platter! We will prevail! We will come out victorious! We will again snatch! Let's kill him and use his smoke to refill our chalk dishes while WE laugh! We'll hang his broken body out in front of CalStrength's door to warn his friends Missedcleanasaurus and Cantjerkadactyl to stay out! We will stand strong in our singlets of armor and live to fight again. They will someday come back....they never give up! But as long as my heart continues to beat I won't give up either! Your fight makes me stronger! Every battle I win with Snatchasaurusrex and his buddies makes my hands more calloused over and my heals sturdier! Join me team! Today, at 1:00 we kill!