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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

What happens when that little flame inside you starts to flicker like a candle fighting it's way through a breeze? That moment when everything almost dies but tries so hard to stay ablaze. It's like my head when there's not enough oxygen for me to mentally focus, like a fog after a few shots when all you do is act on instincts and lack of a better judgment. Are you going to stay and fight or are you going flea for cover? Sometimes what's easy isn't always what's right. I don't even know anymore the difference between the two. I go with my gut and follow my heart and hope they've got enough sense to not steer me wrong. I want what everyone else wants...unicorns and pots of gold at the end of every rainbow and maybe an in-ground pool, why is that so much to ask? I want to lift heavy again and love without the fear of getting hurt. I want to stand for something worth standing for and fight till it gives me a reason to just give up. These dragons are everywhere and they don't give up. I put them out with their drink but they keep coming back. Give up and go home? Wake up from this bad dream? Or take a deep breath and get the oxygen pumping again. I'm an athlete, a natural born champion. Giving up has never been in my blood and fight has always been patiently waiting on the back burner for his big debut. I want to win again. I want to walk in a room and pull tricks out of their seats with my openers! I want to make PRs feel light again and hit your lifts for doubles. I want my fight to stay, I like it. It's the only thing that makes me feel alive when everything else starts to feel so dead. I won't ever give up on what's worth fighting for and when I do I'll just make my bed and lie down in it. That little flame inside me will always burn bright, like a hot coal refusing to be taken over by the wind. I'm just now burning red, three shades before that deep blue heat. I'll keep you warm if you want to stay close but if not I'm going to keep fighting this damn fight. Are you with me or against me? What do you have worth fighting for? 

2 comments:

  1. Miss seeing you in the old Cal strength vids. Hope all is well.

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