Six months of training, seven competitions, hundreds of hours of sweat, pain, and tears and it has finally boiled down to this moment. This one opportunity for all the best weightlifters in America to gather under one roof to dominate one platform to prove who is the best lifter in the Nation.
There is nothing left to do now except wait. The taper bug is gone, I've settled into my light week of training and I'm ready to walk up on that stage with strong legs and an open heart. I'm telling myself my body feels great, refreshed, rejuvenated, ready for war.
My blood is pumping still from a wonderful week and I'm packing it in my carry-on to Ohio! I take with me the thought of winning. I take the heart of a champion. I take the confidence from all my friends, family, and followers of knowing I can do it, even when that last minute doubt starts to roll in. I take with me the fight and fearlessness of Donny Shankle. I take with me a smile of happy, happy thoughts.
With all this you can consider me dangerous. Locked and loaded and ready for all that comes my way. I am a CalStrength Soldier, no longer a rookie. I have a bronze medal from American Opens after 3 months of training and it was like the first taste of blood to the wolf. I want more. I'll always want more. And until I'm broken down beyond repair I'll fight harder, train longer, never complain, and wear a dangerous smile on my face with my eyes on one prize: to become the BEST. I am the underdog, I am the one with absolutely the least amount of training. I am 6 months; they are 6 years. I am dressed for sucess in new CalStrength swag and I have nothing to lose. I am Wonder Woman and I am ready.
It's amazing how unplanned life is at any given moment. You may think you know what's going on or that you have your life's blueprints in hand, step by step; the crazy thing is what happens when you're not looking, when you're not planning on it. Weightlifting, for example, is something I never planned on happening in my life. I was very set and happy with my CrossFit training when weightlifting was introduced to me. I didn't know what was behind that door that day, and I didn't know what it had in store for me. Six months have passed now and I can't say that I would take any of it back. I am so happy with my training and enjoying every minute of it. It has introduced me to many new friends across the country and the world. People who unite under one common interest and compete to take it all home. It has introduced me to the greatest of teammates, a wonderful coach, and a whole new love for competing again.
Don't stress in life when you feel like it's not going your way. Focus on the controllables, focus on what you can make a difference on. When life throws you a curve ball, set back, wait on it, and drive it into right field. Don't hold back in life. Don't regret. You never know what would happen if you had to go back in time and do it all over again. Catch what life throws at you and run with it. It's the unexpected of life's surprises that most times end up the best. Set your goals high and do what it takes to get there, enjoying every road bump, obstacle, wonderful delight that comes along with it. Don't be afraid to swim out past the safety nets and take a risk from time to time. You never know when that next big risk just might just be your next big adventure.
"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else. It is about your outlook towards life."
California Strength will be streaming live today as we prepare for Nationals. Click HERE to be apart of the fun.....sign in and chat to the right of the stream and give me a shout out!! See you there!
2:00 pm Pacific Time!
"Winners, I am convinced, imagine their dreams first. They want it with all their heart and expect it to come true. There is, I believe, no other way to live."
For the first time in a long time I sat outside this evening and just stared in to the night sky. The moon was particularly beautiful tonight and from where I was sitting it was surrounded by a beautiful frame of tree branches with another bright star caught in there as well. It was a moment to clear my head, to take a break from my ongoing busy day, yet staring at something seemingly so simple and beautiful caused a rush of different thoughts and emotions to burst in to my head.
It made me think of my Grandpa Hewkin and how he always called these crescent type moons "God's thumbnail". It made me think of all our happy times together, even when most of the time he just liked to pick and aggravate for fun to watch us get so wound up. It made me think of collecting peacock feathers out of his yard and sticking them in our hair as we play Indians and dance around the house.
It made me think of my dad, and all the nights we spent out on our huge sundeck staring at stars through the telescope, about finding the different constellations, about knowing how to read the stars if you were ever lost out in the wilderness someday. It made me think of fall time back home in Missouri, with a cool breeze just right for the sweatshirt and tights I was wearing. It made me think of bonfires and family, rain on a tin roof. It made me think of all the friends I still have back there.
It made me think... "I need to do this more often."
There's never enough time in the day and if you're not careful you will let all life's finer moments pass you up. Take a minute every once in a while to slow things down and enjoy a little break. Life is hectic, weightlifting is hectic, work is hectic, and when all that comes crashing down on you sometimes all you need is a little fresh air and second to rest your head. I have a huge week ahead of me this week and this picturesque moment of good memories, great air, and the best of company couldn't have came at a more perfect time.
Life happens quick, one minute we are in our youth and the next we have children of our own. Keep your challenges and goals in life coming but don't be afraid to hit the pause button every once in awhile. Take a second to kick back for a deep breath of fresh air. It's refueling to the body, the soul, and the mind. It's a potion for new PRs! It's sometimes just what you need. I know I did.....Nationals, I'll see you in ONE WEEK!
As I have been doing my practices lately I have come to the conclusion that I just don't enjoy clean and jerks as much as I do the snatch. The funny thing is is when I started 6 months ago I loved cleans. I actually looked forward to the "WODs" that had them in it in CrossFit just because I knew I did them so well. Thing is I never jerked after the clean in CrossFit, or at least split jerked. Maybe I should go back and clarify....I hate the JERK! I am almost certain, and have said this in practice many of times, I would rather snatch 85 for a double than clean & jerk it once! I also make jokes that I will hit my first 200kg total with a 100kg snatch, 100kg clean & jerk....sometimes it really seems I'm not joking!
Here's the thing. I love to snatch. I rip through them in practice and even when it's a crumby day where I don't hit PRs or maybe fall short of hitting a regular number I still enjoy them. I dread the clean & jerk! I slow my pace in practice hoping to just make large enough jumps that the missed work will still somehow find its way above my head. I don't do this on purpose, I just dread them so much they mentally hurt! And like I said in my last blog post, the mind is a crazy, crazy thing. When mentally you're not ready for something how can your body ever be prepared for it.
So with all that being said here is my pledge to myself, my mind, and the people out there wishing me well......I am going to just start hating them less! That's got to be the answer right? I'm not saying I'm going to love them, I just don't want to hate them anymore. I will embrace the jerk, think nice thoughts about him, invite him in with locked out arms! Maybe eventually we will learn to work together in rhythm as one? I don't want to fight with him anymore. My body is so tired after practice that mentally I can't stand the thought of dreading to finish.
Quiet the demons in my head, don't answer them. You will get through this Lindsay. Bring on 100, bring on 105, and if you're ready attempt 110! Don't fear it, don't hate it, don't push it aside and take the shorter road! You can do this, just hate it less! Walk up to the bar thinking you'll give it your best shot instead of thinking "ah, this is going to suck," Surely enough of this attitude and perception of the lift will eventually just make practices run smoother and eventually end up being more gratifying me for me in the end.
If there's anything out there that's bothering you right now whether it be jerks, today's open WOD of freakinggggg burpees, form/ technique, or even your in laws....join me in just HATING IT LESS! Maybe it will work, maybe not...but in the long run I bet we save more brain cells by doing so and increase our overall enjoyment of life!
What is it that you are going to "Hate Less"?
This is me clean and jerking 97kg. (213lb.) then lowering it down for a second jerk.
What is it that is taking place during that moment that you're not talking but not really thinking about anything either? The moment where you're just kinda zoned out in space but still tense, clinching your teeth together. The one where someone asks, "What are you thinking about?" because you obviously look so focused and then you snap out of your piercing stare to curiously wonder what it even was yourself ? Is there a moment the mind ever turns off? A moment of pure rest? A standby mode where everything can just turn into a blinking blue light and take a break?
For me I wonder what goes on during those moments of blank stares. Sometimes I think there is just too much happening in my head to rationalize just one thought, or even keep up with it for that matter. I am constantly dreaming. Going over numbers and scenarios in my head. Visualizations that make me smile out of the blue even when no one's watching. I sit in front of a loaded bar listening to the beat of music in my own head, closing my eyes and attempting lift after lift in perfect rhythm and form, envisualizing perfection.
Such grace and beauty, the mind. It is a powerful thing. It is hub that everything must first begin. It is sometimes what makes or misses a lift before you even attempt it. For that matter, it is sometimes what causes you to ever walk that plank of even pursuing anything that might be categorized as impossible or unreachable in the first place. "You're dreaming," they say. Well I don't know about you but dreams are what keep me alive. They are my daily challenge to do something great.
My friend, Clint McPeek, said to me the other day, "When you stop dreaming is when they say you truly go insane". Eyes closed or eyes open, I think he's right. If you stop believing in yourself, stop challenging your own body, stop dreaming of the fight then who are you? What, during that time, defines who you are and where you want to be tomorrow? Dreams are merely aspirations that are just enough out of reach that you have to do something a little miraculous to achieve them, you have to do something big....something wonder woman.
Start first with yourself. Get right in your own head. Believe 100% that you are the best and you were brought here for this reason. If you dont believe in yourself, than who will? That bar is not your enemy. Neither is that tentative start total list, that crowd favorite, or that damn jerk....but rather your own mind. They've infiltrated home territory, they've got in to your head. Don't let them steal your dreams. Not first without a fight. Stand strong, walk proud, and never give in. Close your eyes and see it all over again, clearer and clearer, louder and louder each time and before you know it, when your eyes open, there you will be awake, alive, heart pounding in your own dream ready to take on the World....with eyes wide open!
